Essay 1 commentary

Veronica Garcia
 February 27, 2013
English 1B
Professor Brown
Essay 1 commentary: Milena Tintcheva
 
I enjoyed the Introduction and how you present the topic of your essay because it was very clear. You did a great job on presenting your cons about how the web has changed us. It’s as if people were born biologically to connect with the Web because it comes so naturally to use it. When you mention that people are “social creatures ", you couldn't have said it any better because I liked how you describe them as creatures rather than humans. Your Confirmation was very clear and well developed. There were no confusions when I was reading it.  
Your essay had strong body paragraphs. You did accidently put too many spaces between words in your sentences, but it’s not a big problem. It’s a simple error that can be fixed. One of your body paragraphs was very appealing because your supporting claims were strong. When you discussed the studies of the correlation by Mathew Gentzkow was a good counter argument that was an effective claim. I think your arguments would with the audience because you present your claims and you backed it up with evidence that was relevant to the topic. I think the kind of audience you would win over would be a skeptical audience because I think that that kind of audience is in denial about being so addicted to the Web and denial it changing them. So when hearing what you say they wouldn’t agree with you. All your evidence that you provided did support your thesis.
     You did show a great alternative view and provided well put information about it. You ended with the conclusion that the Web is a medium for people to support each other so they can have their voices heard was a great ending sentence. You establish a good counter argument. The whole body paragraph was successfully executed you pulled me in as the reader. You conclusion statement was a quote and it ended well.  Overall you whole essay was executed well and you fulfilled the requirements for the essay.

1st Essay

Youth Gone Ga-Ga

            Although Lady Gaga is well known musician and widely adored by her fans, does she give a positive or negative influence on the youth in our society today? Lady Gaga, with her strange sense of fashion and her unusual persona, leave her young fans to imitate such characteristics as if it is accepted in our society today. Through her songs and her personality lady gaga send the wrong message to her fans through her music, her action on national Television and magazines, and her performance on stage however many feel that she is a positive influence because she tells her young fans to always accept who they are and avoid others opinion.

            In her performance on stage, Lady Gaga gives a horrific image to all her fans. On the performance music video of the hit song “Alejandro”, Lady Gaga dances in a skin tight nun outfight while swallowing a rosary and being surrounded by homo-sexually depicted men. This is ironic since lady Gaga attended a Roman Catholic Church school. She chose out of her own willingness to dance so outrageously, created a wrong message to her fans. In fact many nuns who saw this performance were stunned and offended to see that student of the church would so violently lower herself to actually make an offensive dance. It was not intended since, Lady Gaga only wanted to create a music video to express to her fans on not to be afraid on what to represent on any manner that they want to do it. But in many cases this not acceptable since many fan will think its OK to dress inappropriately of a well-respected class in the Catholic Church. It not just the catholic church who found her actions unacceptable but critics as well, since her performance as no relation to her lyrics in the song and is merely “imitating the wrong role” (Boston globe). I feel that Gaga attempt to be unique is pathetic since she does not respect even her back ground and gives the wrong message to her young fans, and so do many critics. It not just this song but many of Gaga’s videos have inappropriate behavior and many fans will get the wrong idea.

 Next is on her reports on national TV and biography in magazines, Lady Gaga herself does not have a clean back ground in fact she basically lowers herself in the lowest way possible and by her choice not by influence. When she was nineteen Lady Gaga “ignored her parents and their advice and left her home, she began as a go-go dancer at bars and night clubs”, article by Vanessa Grigoriadis, The New York, article 125 minutes with lady Gaga. In an attempt to pursuit her own life style and not respecting the decisions of her parent, Lady Gaga had now where else to turn to, but to sell her body for the entertainment of others Lady Gaga a now a well-known musician was actually stripper for the pleasure of men and yet she still does this on stage with her cloths that barley cover her personal areas in front of millions to watch. If Lady Gaga’s advice seems to influence her fans as it did to her then many will not enjoy the outcome of their own experience. It may not be best to become one with the crowed either but one cannot always make their own decisions and hope that the outcome will be becoming a hit pop star like Lady Gaga. When she does become a star her idea to be unique with“raw meat dress” information by psychology today was not so great and many critics including take show host commented and made fun of this dress for weeks. In fact why would her fans follow her influence, if most would know about her back round than I bet many wouldn't even listen to what she has to say? Gaga attempts to create her own personality on stage yet many magazines say that she is a rip off of Madonna, and ironically she send the message to her fans to be unique when she herself cannot. Through reviews of her life and her performances Lady Gaga message to be unique is false since she herself cannot follow her own regulations. And once again her message is misleading to her young fans.

 Lastly are her lyrics in songs in songs. In many song that really have no meaning such as poker face and many other ridiculous song Lady Gaga give the wrong message without realizing it, in the song “bad romance” some of the lyrics actually go, “I want your psycho, and your vertical stick” song lyrics which does not make sense but when people read this they understand what is meant. For the influence of the young I doubt the last advice they would need is to be crazy with love and actually want to have her fans doing any form of sexual activity. If her own songs that hold her career and pay her to sing in front of millions of people is her way to give her message to be unique when really what this does is corrupt the young mind. Most of Lady Gaga’s songs are indecent that make no sense and what give the wrong message to all her fans, and yet many follow her advice to be unique when really this is totally the wrong way to view one’s self. Many of her songs don’t carry a massage, at least not a positive one, and for those that do what’s the point, and how can people actually relate to her when she herself is somewhat psychotic.

            Lady gaga does not realize this but she does not support her own claim and through many of her example proves that she is not the best influence on the young mind. Were my point is that she is not a good role model and although there will be many people who disagree with my claim it is obvious with her bizarre characteristics that she should not be role model since she herself has a checkered passed by being a stripper for men’s entertainment, creating and inappropriate video that basically offends the church, and just her attitude is nothing to be proud and yet many still follow her on many event and her life style. For those who still believe that her motto to be unique makes her special, they will begin to disagree in future events when her quotes doesn't support her statues and people will begin to realize this. The fact and proof that she is a negative influence is all around her aurora, in the past, present, and I’m sure the future.

Lady gaga will always remain a negative influence on the minds of her young fans for those who see it and for those who are influence by her follow a lie because her characteristics are shallow. For those who still believe, I’m sure they will shake this phase to become like a pop star ideal such as Lady Gaga since she herself has no positive aspect of her and teaches her wrong doing through what she does in entertainment today.

First blog

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

First blog

Veronica Garcia
1 st Blog (1/25): Nicholas Carr, “Is Google

Have humans become less human and more machine?

Has the rapid growth of technology such as Google reprogramed our brain?

Did humans get lazy and relied on technology for all its needs?

In the article by Nicholas Carr, “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” I found it to be very interesting to read because I have never taken the time to realize how technology is involved in our daily basis. Carr discussed how the making of Google search engine has changed the internet and how our brain lacks memory exercises because Google does everything for us. I am going to answer question three because after reading the article I noticed how we used devices to keep connected with the Internet to do small tasks such as checking our email or looking up time frames for a movie. Humans use the Internet every day for school or work and I think that humans have gotten lazy to do basic functions because everything is a click away from our fingertips. Humans don’t longer go to the library to pick up a book just for leisure or research. The Internet now has devices where you can just download your book straight from an app. Such growth of technology has made every day functions for humans easier because we are no longer as mobile as we once were because now people just sit in their office and never get up because they can find everything they need in the Internet. The founders of Google have made it their goal to create “artificial intelligence “, and I don’t think that is something we should look forward to. If that was to happen in the mere future than I think that humans will no longer exercise the brain and we will lack simple functions, and our world will be run my technology such as robots and we would all get obese like in the movie Wall-e. So yes I do think that Google is making us stupid because we don’t longer go out and explore instead we have irritated red eyes because we are too locked in the screen to even look outside our window at Mother Nature.

2nd Blog

Veronica Garcia 



A Market Place of Echoes?- Weinberger 

1.  Is too much diversity good or bad?
2. Can diversity be contained?
3. What would happen if we had no diversity?

The one question that I am going to answer is question one because I think that too much diversity can be beneficial. I think that diversity is beneficial because we can learn from one another rather than being all the same with equal IQ's. Weinberger does share the different perspectives of other intelligent minds about diversity and how it can be good and bad in all kind of scenarios. In the book The Difference  by Scott Page he says, "It's  better to have  a diverse group than a group that consists only of the very best minds diversity trumps the best and the brightest" (Page). Page explains,  how  diversity is better played out in a group than individually because even the greatest minds won't produce a greater solution to an answer than a diverse group. I say we let diversity play its role than try to contain it. In his book Weinberger states, that the internet is so diverse that it has no boundaries anymore because people just state their opinion and go off topic with no solid facts.  Diversity is great but without any guidelines about what is acceptable or not it can be uncomfortable on the web. The only bad thing I find in diversity is if you you truly have a diverse group, you get small talk because people don’t have a common platform for conversation so you cant really feed into it.  Nevertheless, diversity is important.